Mom:
Tomorrow will be your first birthday in 67 years that I haven't been there with you in person or able to reach you by phone, mail, text, or video to celebrate your birthday. And it hit me like a ton of bricks today, seemingly out of the blue.
As I was leafing through papers I'd saved over the years, I found a note that you had sent Deb & I over 9 years ago to cheer us up after returning home from a trip to move Mike half-way across the country to start an exciting new life and job.
You had lost Dad little more than a year prior, and chose to share with us just how you felt when Randy & I had to head back home from a visit to see you at the condo - - and how you knew Deb & I would be feeling a similar (although not final) "loss" and emptiness as we returned home from our trip.
That letter brought me to tears today, as I was touched by its sentiments & sage advice, and recalled the beautiful and caring person behind those thoughts. And how I would never again be able to thank you for everything & tell you directly how much I loved (and now miss) you.
No matter how glad and lucky I was to be able to help you in any way I could in your later years, I'll never feel like I did enough to repay you for everything you did for me, or let you know just how much you meant to me. With tomorrow being your first birthday "away" from me, the pain is just that much deeper.
I hope I made things better for you, especially these last 10 years, and I hope you & Dad are together again. I love and miss you deeply. We all do.
--Dave
